regarding giraffes

sometimes i feel like an exception.

not exceptional, but an exception. the rules do not define me, i am not an easy read, this is not like riding a bicycle. most people get tired of it quickly.

i often wonder why. people are not simple. humanity as a whole is a vast and confusing group. we love, yet fight. we preach, yet judge. our values are an ever changing, constantly circumstantial set of morals. someone once told me humanity is the exception to every animal law. does that make me less human?

people can surprise you. a man you have known your entire life can turn into someone unrecognizable through their actions. a woman, a mother can turn her back on her own child. an infant can learn to read.

and sometimes, people can follow a pattern. people can become predictable. the man you love can continue to be the same person you fell in love with. the woman you live next door to can continue to live next door to you as she always has. and that predictability can be safe.

"i love you" he says. "you're most beautiful when you smile, but you're beautiful when you worry, or when you're sad"

emotions will happen. it's a guarantee that something in life will be un-planned. chaos theory dictates it. murphys law, everything dedicated to the study of predictability says "guess what? we know jack-shit".

but i think that's the trick. the only thing predictable is un-predictability.

we as a species rock. we are capable of intense emotions, empathy, love, malice, pride. our bodies are built with such finesse, such incomprehensible structure. and yet we still fail. a lot. in fact, there is yet to be a human on the planet you doesn't succumb to their body's weaknesses at some point. such strength and perfection contained in something so weak and perfect.

i have an appreciation for bones. any kind of bone, but human bones in particular. rib cages specifically, and the vertebrae of the backbone. there is nothing like us on the planet. and yet everything like us on the planet. humans are so unique, yet so so common. our structures are the most confusingly beautiful example of how not to operate, and yet we share dna as everything else on the planet.

there is no perfect line in nature. no straight point, no perfect curve, no smooth, unbroken, 90 degree angles. yet everything follows a golden ratio and can be compared to everything else.

and even that perfection is unpredictable.

i guess what i'm trying to understand is the massive contradiction of humanity and the world in general. no, understand is the wrong word.

love.