regarding continents

simple things impress me.

technology and how far humanity has brought it, nature and how much we have manipulated it, people and how influential they can be. in the grand scheme of things, the universe, multiple galaxies scheme of things, our entire human history is nothing. we've changed and evolved and grown so much, affected so much on our own planet, but when thinking about things at an eternal level, humanity is but a blip on that timeline.

i am a person easily effected by others. daily occurences, misunderstandings, jokes, statements, it all seems to influence me. and i paused a moment today to consider the chinese theory. my brother explained this as "no matter what happens to you, good or bad, there are approximately a billion chinese people who have no idea you even exist". while considering this i ran with the idea, to "holy crap, i'm completely insignificant". and in a way, that's very freeing.

just think of all the pain and suffering we perpetuate as humans. the mis-understood comment that caused anguish and depression; the punch which broke someones nose; years of intentional pain and wars and struggle. all of it is really just a speck in terms of the universal timeline.

theres something comforting in knowing that i can sturggle and work and change the world and it will still continue on after me. we as a species could destroy our planet, and every living thing on it, and the galaxies and stars and planets will still go on spinning as they always have.

and yet still, people consider themselves before others. it's natural to worry about the needs of yourself and those you love before those of the collective. it's human nature to want safety and happiness for yourself and those you're close to.

even thinking about the chinese theory, i know i personally will continue on as i always have. because it's not the world or the universes opinion that dictates my thoughts and actions. it's my own. and i know i can do better, i know i want to push myself farther and harder to make myself proud. i know i personally don't want to cause people harm, or ruin the lives of those around me.

and really, why consider the opinion of a billion people before the opinion of myself?

i want to experience things, travel, see things i've never seen before. i want to learn, to study hard and be amazed by the world around me. i want to speak and write eloquently and with conviciton. i want to have friends and family i trust and value, i want to be happy.

i am proud of who i am becoming.
and i don't care if a billion chinese people never know how or that i lived.
the point is, i want to know i did.